English: There, here and over there. Basically, in a sense, to mean restless. A collection of thoughts, musings and ramblings...

Monday, September 20, 2010

Not Pretty Enough

I had a nice surprise when my guitar teacher Rene, suddenly brought up the idea of teaching me to play a song I said I wanted to learn to play - Not Pretty Enough by Kasey Chambers. Actually, I think it is very sweet that he remembers something that I mentioned on Facebook sometime ago, but let's not change the subject, haha ;-)

I just find that the song is very meaningful to me . It's not really about me wondering if I am pretty enough, I am confident that I am somewhat sufficiently attractive, but it is more related to the thoughts I can link to it. Disappointments, heart break and tragedies I encountered in my life. For example, whenever my abusive ex used to hurt me, or put me down, the little voice in my head starts asking "Why do you hurt me so? Don't I deserve happiness? Is there something lacking in me that I don't deserve to be loved?' And yes, 'Am I not pretty enough?' And again the same questions arose in my head when my next boyfriend, the man I thought was my soulmate, decided that I wasn't worth sacrificing for.

And of course, the song is also for the men I want or desire but could never have. My excuse for them is that because they cannot see beyond my extra large size (beyond the gaggle of 'perfect' women) and see the perfect woman inside that is me. If only they bothered to look!;)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TOAjoLw0aQ

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